Everyone has nesting habits. We humans are such creatures of habit. One of my habits is to eat at exactly the same restaurant nearly six days a week… the Village Inn in St. Cloud, Florida.

Whether you're in Jal, New Mexico, St. Cloud, Florida, Lexington, South Carolina, Edgerton, Ohio, Bakersfield, California or any of the scores of other small towns in which this column appears, there's a Village Inn or something like it in your city. In my old home town of Lexington, SC, we had Hite's Restaurant and Rawl's Restaurant many moons ago. Same drill… different city.

These food troughs have their regulars that drop in every day and many even have a special "liar's table" set aside for the regulars, who range from politicians trolling for votes to insurance and real estate agents looking for leads.

Village Inn calls it a "Mike Special." I'm only five minutes from the restaurant so I pick up my cell phone and dial it my order. A "Mike Special" is one egg, one piece of marble rye toast, a small cup of grits and a small helping of hash. Even though the helpings are very small, I can rarely finish everything.

Since I had a bariatric bypass several years ago, my stomach doesn't hold too much these days, and I'm not allowed to drink any fluids while I eat. The docs don't want me washing the nutrients through my belly before I have a chance to enjoy some of the benefits.

So I phone the Inn and Laura, Casey, Lisa, LeAnn or one of the other terrific gals who are on duty rush my order through. In fact, I don't even have to identify myself any more. They answer the phone by saying "I'll put your special in… see you shortly Mike."

I accidentally hit the Village Inn speed dial button on my phone when I was in Canada recently. Laura wanted to know why I never showed for breakfast when I returned a week later. I'm not even sure if they hear me say "thank you" when they holler the order in to the cook. I tried to pay her for the missed meal, but she said she decided to eat her mistake.

And speaking of the cost of the meal, the Village Inn folks are the nicest people around. They know of my miniature belly, so they cut their sides down and toss in an egg for $3.32 per meal. I carry a Village Inn gift card which I replenish $100 at a time. They simply debit $5.00 each time, giving the waitress the balance for a tip.

Other than putting the meal in for me in advance, I'm low maintenance. They never have to refill a drink because I don't drink anything, which drives the new waitresses crazy because they are taught to get coffee or water on the tables instantly.

When I arrive, my table is always set and waiting, which drives some of the other customers nuts. I walk in, the kitchen spots me and many times the meal is on the table before I can even sit down. I get all of these "How does he rate?" looks from people.

These same people never see me slip the waitress my gift card and she quietly rings up my meal and returns the card seconds later. It takes me all of about five to seven minutes to eat a half piece of toast, all of one egg over medium and several bites of grits and hash… and I'm off to my office which is just up the street. Folks wonder why I never pay or never leave a tip on the table.

I recall slipping in and out one morning and one of St. Cloud PD's finest followed me out to ask why I didn't pay my bill. That one took some explaining, so we went back in and one of the waitresses vouched for my payment.

When I lived in Lexington, SC, many of us actually had a monthly account at Hite's Restaurant and we never even went to the register. Betty Ann Hite just wrote it up from the waitress, and we settled the bill at the end of the month. You think you could get that from McDonalds?

Life in a small town is like this. Where else can you phone in your meal? Where else do you have reserved "liar's tables?" Where else can you charge your grub without even having to sign a piece of paper? Where else can you get a free community newspaper that you can open and read the latest babble from a guy who writes a column titled "Behind the Mike?" Only in a small town.