When you live in Florida, you're used to finding unwanted critters on your property from snakes and alligators in backyard pools to the occasional black bear. It's the nature of the beast, so to speak.

My son, Cory, lives near a Publix and unfortunately people deposit their unwanted cats in their parking lot, all of whom wander into his yard searching for a meal.

I have a backyard shed where I house all my old tax returns and files in case my favorite uncle wants a second look. Turns out that the critters have done an even better job of digging into my financial past, rummaging through the boxes searching for a meal. I wonder if this is tax deductible under the category of travel and entertainment?!?

So my diligent wife, Christine, bought a cage to help relocate the raccoons, possums and other critters that visit our buffet city on Ponderosa Drive. I call it the buffet because it seems like it's costing me a small fortune to capture cats and coons.

She buys cat food to lure them into the cage. But these guys are clever. They come to the feast, get their fill and leave without even tipping. Ironically, they won't eat the cheap cat food, only the expensive stuff. I've gone to searching for coupons on the internet for a discount.

We also have our fair share of snakes that pay us a visit, some of which are probably dangerous. As the old expression goes, "If red touches yellow, it can kill a fellow (coral snake). If red touches black, it is a friend of Jack." Color notwithstanding, I don’t do snakes. One night my wife was taking a late night swim with a snake passed her in the pool. Hadn't been back in that pool since.

Not all critters are bad. We have some wonderful bald eagles that reside just down the street on Neptune Road in St. Cloud. The latest count suggests there are over 1,000 documented mating eagle couples in our state, up about 5% over a year ago.

A sand hill crane mother and her children also stroll across our lawn in search of lunch. My grandbabies get a kick out of the crane and the mother ducks that parade their young on an afternoon stroll.

When we capture the occasional raccoon, fox, possum, squirrel, rat, cat or armadillo, my son Christopher brings his pickup over and we load up the cage to relocate them to a safe haven. About the only thing we haven't caught so far is a skunk.

I'm told snakes can be beneficial to your garden. I took on the task of growing tomatoes last year. Never has so much money been spent on so few tomatoes. I could have purchased tomatoes for the next ten years and not approach the investment into this year's tomato plants. My wife felt so sorry for me that she went to Publix and purchased a container of cherry tomatoes and decorated my plants with them.

Not wanting to admit defeat, I blamed the birds of stealing my tomatoes. It's been said you can plant a broom stick in Florida and it will grow. Well obviously you haven't seen my gardening skills. The only place I seem to be able to grow grass is in the cracks of my concrete driveway.

This is precisely why Christine won't allow me to touch her precious tractor or weed-eater. She views me as the "kiss of death" when it comes to yard work, which is why I have been banished to the ironing board. She compares me to our old lawn mower. It was difficult to start. It emitted terrible smells and it failed to work most of the time.