In my latest book "It's the Customer, Stupid!" I admit that I don’t believe in motivation. I have had the privilege of speaking to over 2,000 audiences in my nearly four decades on the platform. I am probably the only so-called motivational speaker in America who doesn't believe that you can motivate someone to do anything. I have learned three things about motivation.

1. You can't motivate anybody to do anything they don't want to do. Motivation is an internal thing, not an external thing.
2. The second thing I've learned is that all people are motivated. The person that stays in bed in the morning rather than getting up and going to work is more motivated to stay in bed than to work. They might be negatively motivated, but they are nonetheless motivated.
3. The third thing I have learned is that people do things for their reasons and not for yours. The trick is to find out what their reasons are.

The fact of the matter is our clients do business with us for their reasons and not because we have something we need to sell. They keep their business with us for their reasons as well. Our job is to find out what those reasons are.

It Starts With Asking Great Questions

We need to find out what's on the client's mind and that starts with asking great questions. They need to be open-ended questions that demand an open-ended response. "Who, What, When, Where, Why, and How" questions are absolutely critical to the success.

Avoid "Did, Would, Could, Should, Can, Do and May" questions because they will elicit a yes/no response. You want your client to expound on what's bugging them. If you lead with "Did, Would, Could, Should, Can, Do and May" then be prepared to have a follow-up question to draw them out.

It allows the client to vent their concerns about a situation. It's a lot like paddling a canoe upstream. If you don't keep paddling, you’ll go backward. You have to work through situations. The person asking the questions in the interview process is the person in control of the interview.

When clients start posing questions, it's your job to respond with non-threatening information-gathering questions. Regain control of the interview. That's the only way to find out the client’s motivation.

What happens when an irate customer literally lambast you with a complaint and then refuses to give you an opportunity to respond? How do you deal with it? In simple terms- don't let them overwhelm you. Reinforce that you are not their enemy and that you want to help, but if you're not allowed to engage the disapproving customer, it's hard to solve their problem. Sometimes you have to fire the irate customer until they can at least give you the space you need to ask questions and help resolve their issues.

Sometimes the more irate a customer the more likely it is that they will make unreasonable demands that you can't possibly fulfill. Try to come to the conclusion as to what will make them whole again.

There are several tips to dealing with this kind of an unruly customer:

1. Diagnose the issue.
2. Get the client to define what they consider is the solution.
3. Be prepared to make an offer that will make them whole again.
4. Don't promise more than you are prepared to deliver.

Inevitably, this can sometimes become a negotiation ploy where the customer is expecting far more than they deserve or than you can deliver. You can't throw in a free computer because a printer is not functioning. The client has to be reasonable and you have show fairness.

How do you say no to an unreasonable request? First, you must be well-mannered in your approach. Nobody likes to hear "no." It's even more frustrating when it is fueled by emotion. You must adhere to the company's policies but you have a responsibility to the customer as well. Approach the circumstance with balance.

Some problems simply can't be solved on the spot. What if you don't have the widget that the client is asking about in stock? The client is quick to ask "Why don’t you have it? You're supposed to be in the business of selling widgets? I don't understand!!!” Blah, blah, blah. The answer is to step up and admit it. "Mr. Client, we clearly dropped the ball on this one. We've always tried to be here for you in the past, but there has been a run on widgets this week. May I express ship you the widget as soon as we get it? Fair enough?"

Fair Enough?

The sweetest words in the English language are "fair enough." They don't invite confrontation but rather suggest compromise. They are soothing, transitional words that invite a solution.