A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer, who was also a blonde. The cop asked to see the blonde's driver's license.

She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated. "What does it look like?" she finally asked. The policewoman replied, "It is square and it has your picture on it."

The driver finally found a square mirror, looked at it and handed it to the policewoman. "Here it is," she said.

The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying, "Okay, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop."

Such is the humor that comes from our women and men in blue. They do hear some doozies when they pull over a speeder, so say my police officer buddies.

Buddy Sullivan who was an SC Highway Patrolman, once told me he pulled over an old-timer who was doing 35 miles per hour on I-20 near Lexington, SC. “I suppose you know why I pulled you over,” said Buddy to the geezer. “Yes I do. I am the only one you could catch. You need a faster car.”

A very pretty blonde woman was pulled over by a Washington State Patrol office for driving 75 mph in a 55-mph zone. When the officer walked to her car and asked her why she was speeding, she told the patrolman that she was married to a police officer who had told her that as long as she was traveling with the flow of traffic she would not be pulled over and would be okay.

The patrolman, having heard all the excuses, or so he thought, told the woman that there were no other cars within a quarter-mile of her when he clocked her on the radar. She looked at him and told him she knew that, but that the group of cars she had been traveling with got boring so she was trying to catch up with the group in front of her.

Apparently this was a new one to the patrolman, she said he giggled a little bit, told her to slow down, drive safely, and have a nice day. She says she could see him laughing and shaking his head as he walked back to his car."

A vehicle packed with four ladies destined for a daylong shopping trip was pulled over. She rolled down my window as he walked up beside the car and asked the inevitable question. "Do you know how fast you were going?" She responded, "No, officer, I don't. But I'm sure I was moving right along because I was just trying to keep up with my mouth." He bent down and looked at the car full of women, laughed, and just told me to slow down. No ticket that day - which meant more money for shopping!

One Sunday, sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State Police Officer sees a car puttering along at 22 MPH. He thinks to himself, "This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!" So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over.

Approaching the car, he notices that there are five old ladies - two in the front seat and three in the back - wide eyed and white as ghosts. The driver, obviously confused, says to him, "Officer, I don't understand, I was doing exactly the speed limit! I always go exactly the speed limit. What seems to be the problem?"

"Ma'am," the officer replies, "You weren't speeding, but you should know that driving slower than the speed limit can also be a danger to other drivers."

"Slower than the speed limit? No sir, I was doing the speed limit exactly! Twenty-two miles an hour!" the old woman says a bit proudly. The State Police officer, trying to contain a chuckle explains to her that "22" was the route number, not the speed limit.

A bit embarrassed, the woman grinned and thanked the officer for pointing out her error. "But before I let you go, Ma'am, I have to ask . . . Is everyone in this car OK? These women seem awfully shaken and they haven't muttered a single peep this whole time." She responded, "Oh, they'll be all right in a minute officer. We just got off Route 119."

Below are the ten worst excuses recorded by the cops for pulling someone:

1. I was going downhill.
2. I have oversized tires.
3. I was passing a truck.
4. I was late and my wife was waiting for me.
5. It was a rental car (or someone else's car) and I wasn't familiar with it.
6. My car can't go that fast.
7. I was only going 78.
8. I was just keeping up with traffic.
9. He pulled me over because my plates are from out of state.
10. I wasn't familiar with the road.