My wife and I were scheduled to take a cruise on the SS Norway when it caught on fire in harbor in Miami with the Clemson University football team on board…

The Tigers were in Miami for the Orange Bowl and they were so hot that the ship burned. They went on to win the National Championship that year.

Needless to say, our cruise got cancelled. You think we would have learned, but no, I'm slower than molasses in an Alaskan winter.

Three months later, they repaired the damage done to the Norway, which at the time was the largest cruise liner afloat. So here we are cruising the Caribbean when lo and behold, the ship caught on fire again, this time at sea.

After standing on the deck for eight hours waiting to board rescue boats, which were ultimately not necessary, the ship literally ran out of water and ice. Now they were serving hot beer to keep us hydrated.

I've had a number of crazy things happen to me on the road, but fortunately none have led to my demise.

I was speaking to the Main Platform at the Million Dollar Round Table in Toronto in 1989. I had just followed Terry Bradshaw, former NFL quarterback and broadcaster, and my buddy, W. Mitchell, was to follow me.

Mitchell's claim to fame is that he burned up 75% of his body in a motorcycle accident and then paralyzed himself by crashing the plane that he piloted. His message is "It's not what happens to you…it's what you do about it."

Right in the middle of his speech, the Toronto Convention Center fire alarms went off. Mitchell quipped, "I can't seem to get away from the fire." We survived that one. I later told Mitchell, after learning of his motorcycle accident and his plane crash, "If it's all the same to you Mitchell, I'll get my own ride and meet you there." We became instant friends.

And then there was the time that Art Linkletter, Ed Foreman and I were speaking to a REALTOR convention at the Orlando Convention Center. Art, who did the forward for my book "The Toastmasters International Guide to Successful Speaking," spoke first. As he walked off the stage, he winked at me and said, "Break a leg!"

I went out and delivered my speech and walked off the stage into a darkened area that I thought was a stage. It was not. I fell ten feet and broke my leg in front of 10,000 people.

Linkletter called me the next day and said, "I didn't mean for you to literally break your leg."

And then there was the time I did a series of speeches in India for the American Society of Travel Agents. My wife accompanied me as I was doing a sequence of cities on the tour.

For most of the stops, we flew by air to our next venue, but one segment required a "limo." I use the word "limo" advisedly. It was a broken down vehicle that, at best, could be compared to my old 1953 flathead Plymouth, with the exception that my Plymouth was actually reliable and ran, and if you had a problem, you could always find parts and a mechanic.

You've heard of Murphy's Law? I subscribe to O'Toole's Law: "Murphy was an optimist."

As luck would have it, we broke down along one of the roads (again I use the word road liberally). It was all dirt and every 1000 yards or so there was a pile of what best could be described as rubble, which I later learned was used to fill in the holes cause by the torrential rains that plagued the region.

It's a wonder my wife didn't shoot me first before the regional criminals, known for taking out tourists, didn't get to us. I've read horror stories about people who have gone to India only never to be heard from again.

Mind you, this was in the pre-cell phone days. I was already planning my funeral celebration. Fortunately, we were rescued. Ain't ever going back to India anytime soon.