When Family Baptist Church Minister, the Reverend Joe Nelms, did the opening prayer at the NASCAR Federated Auto Parts 300 in Nashville, Tennessee recently, the control freaks at NASCAR probably wanted to jump out of the press box.

Rev. Nelms is from nearby Lebanon, Tennessee. He did the usual pre-race ritual of thanking the almighty for such things as "These mighty machines that you've brought before us." I didn't know the almighty was working on a pit crew… but I digress.

He went on to say >"Lord, I want to thank you for my smokin' hot wife tonight." I almost fell out of my bed as I was sitting there ironing and watching the only weekend race available to me.

The camera men, as they always do, were panning over the faces of the drivers when he unleashed the "smokin' hot wife" comment. I couldn't help but notice that the normally solemn faces of the Nationwide Series drivers broke out in laughter. A couple of guys, with eyes closed, mischievously opened one eye, not knowing that the camera was fixed on them.

He closed his solemn prayer with a line he borrowed from NASCAR Hall of Famer Darrell Waltrip in his closing: "In Jesus' name. Boogity, boogity, boogity...Amen!"

The "holier-than-thou" crowds are all up in arms about this. I actually find it amusing, but I know now why praying before high school football games in some parts of the country is no longer done. Imagine in your local community if the preacher doing the pre-game prayer thanked his "smokin' hot wife." They'd go off the deep end.

The more important question might have to do with the non-believers who find fault with the use of the Lord's name at any public venue. That's another issue for another day.

Let's define what the good preacher did say. I saw a picture of his wife and she ain't exactly "smokin'" and she ain't exactly "hot." It's about a five minute hike around her, so I have to believe the holy man of God must have been defining "smokin' hot" in non-literal terms.

I certainly consider my wife, Christine, to be "smokin' hot" in every sense of the word. To begin with, she's the kindest person I have ever met in my entire life. She has never had a cross word for anyone, even the idiots that short change her on customer service.

We were recently in our local Panera Bread in Orlando and we ordered a loaf of bread. The machine ate up part of the middle of the loaf, which happens from time to time. Instead of just not selling us this last loaf, the manager and her assistant quietly stuffed it into a bag and tried to do an end-around on us.

We suspected something was up when the employee called her manager over to explain what had happened. With their backs turned to us, they stuffed the bread into a bag and handed it over. I suspect they were hoping we wouldn't notice. The first thing we did was open it and complain. Instead of just not selling us the bread, they tried to cover it up.

My wife is a big Panera Bread fan. She keeps Starbucks and Panera Bread in business, so naturally she was disappointed when they tried to do the end-around.

We asked how we could complain and the manager said, "Go to Panera Bread's web site and complain there." All she had to do was make it good. So Christine did as instructed. Her idea of complaining is more like my idea of a compliment. She was so gracious to these people while trying to make the point that she should not have been sold the bread in that condition.

That's why she's "smokin' hot." She can bring out the best in others, even when they do her wrong. Now Panera Bread is falling all over themselves sending us free stuff. All we wanted was to be treated fairly and honestly. We weren't looking for something for free.

Now the manager's boss is in the picture and is possibly chewing some fanny about how this came down. So as a gesture of kindness, I sent him a copy of my book, "It's the Customer, Stupid!" Hopefully, if the manager is still employed, she'll read it.