“Coach-speak” comes in many forms. The late, great John Heisman, whose name graces the trophy for the top college football player in the nation, once said to his Clemson College football team: “Gentlemen, it is better to have died a small boy that to fumble this football.”
Notre Dame’s Knute Rockne had many great quotes. “Show me a good and gracious loser and I’ll show you a failure.” He always challenged his teams that winning was everything. “It’s not necessary to see a good tackle; you can hear it!”
The legendary Alabama Coach Bear Bryant was known for his grumpy attitude and his plaid hat, but his players remember him more from his torrid practices. “I make practices real hard,” said Bryant. “If a player is a quitter, I want him to quit in practice, not a game.”
Not all coach quotes were motivational in nature. Georgia Southern’s Erk Russell, who first gained fame as Vince Dooley’s long time assistant at the University of Georgia, once commented: “We don’t cheat at Georgia Southern. That costs money and we don’t have any.” Nebraska’s Bob Devaney put it another way: “I don’t expect to win enough games to be put on NCAA probation. I just want to win enough to warrant an investigation.”
Sometimes those outside of the game get into the motivational game. A sign seen in front of an Arkansas church in 1969 said simply: “Football is only a game. Spiritual things are eternal….. Nevertheless, BEAT TEXAS!”
I have had the privilege of sharing the platform with now retired Florida State football coach Bobby Bowden. Just before his retirement, he quipped: “After you retire, there’s only one big event… and I ain’t ready for that yet.” He once told one of his gifted pass receivers “Son, you’ve got a good engine, but your hands aren’t on the steering wheel.”
And the master of all college mentors in the “coach-speak” department was Lou Holtz, who coached at so many universities that even he lost count. I had to opportunity to speak to one of his University of South Carolina teams during the team’s infamous 22-game losing streak. His quote that day: “Motivation is simple. You eliminate those who are not motivated.”
When Clemson beat Woody Hayes and Ohio State for the National Championship in the Orange Bowl in 1981, Hayes was quoted as saying “There’s nothing that cleanses your soul like getting the hell kicked out of you.”
In a humorous attempt to motivate his Auburn team to beat Alabama, Shug Jordan said “Always remember, Goliath was a 40 point favorite over David.”
And when teams got beat, the smart coaches just owned the loss. The celebrated Coach Darrell Royal of Texas defined his team’s loss to Texas A & M: “The cut us up like boarding house pie… and that’s real small pieces.” Texas Tech’s Spike Dykes said after a Red Raider loss: “They whipped us like a tied up goat.” After another loss he said “We played like three tons of buzzard puke this afternoon.”
Darrell Royal always found ways to state the obvious in a humorous way. “We live one day at a time at Texas and we only scratch when it itches.” He liked to boast about his running game at Texas by explaining “Three things can happen when you throw the football… and two of them are bad! We’ll keep it on the ground.”
Walt Garrison, who had a career at Oklahoma State after Royal and the Longhorns passed on recruiting him stated: “I asked Darrell Royal why he didn’t recruit me and he said ‘Well, Walt, we took a look at you and you weren’t any good.’”
After Southern Cal got their heads handed to them in a 51-0 loss to Notre Dame, Trojan Head Coach John McKay announced to his team: “If there is anybody that needs a shower, take one.” On another occasion he said “We didn’t tackle well today but we made up for it by not blocking.”
The King of all “coach-speak” was Vince Lombardi. “The difference between a successful person and others is not a lack of strength, not a lack of knowledge, but rather a lack of will.”