Behind the Mike

With unemployment raging at double digit rates and child poverty approaching 20% in places like Orlando, Florida, one has to seek peace where one can find it. No one has escaped the headaches and heartaches of today’s economy.

We could fight or we could flee. All of us have made adjustments from downsizing housing to taking second jobs to selling the second car. As many as three or four generations of family are now under one roof.

It is so easy to get depressed and down in times like these. So much of what happens in our life is out of our control. The temptation is to flee to drugs or alcohol or even to harm oneself. The other traditional option is to fight your way through it, but sometimes that is very difficult for people.

Comes now the fall of the year when events like Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hanukkah or what have you should be happy times for all to enjoy. Instead, depression, driven by current economic conditions, seems to take over. Find some solitude. Find some peace.

I find peace in a two hour visit with my beautiful grandbabies, Ashley and Ava. I find peace in my dreams at night when I recall happy times from my youth, playing baseball or football. I find tranquility in the warmth and love of those things that are passions in my life– writing, speaking and singing. I find peace in being the ball boy for my son’s freshman football team on Thursday nights in the fall. Where is your peace? Find it.

Tough times do not last; tough people do. My latest passion at this time of the year is participating in my church choir. Holidays provide us the wonderful opportunity to dust off all that terrific Christmas music and to enjoy the season. My wife, Christine, actually has a Christmas CD on year round in her car and at home. She finds her peace in that wonderful music.

Let the record reflect that I know I cannot sing very well, so I cheat. I am a leaner. I do not read music, so I lean over to the guy next to me and hope he is on target; then I mimic his voice. Works for me.

My first, last and only paid acting assignment was for a play in Orlando “Lizzie.” It was about Lizzie Borden who did an axe workout on her family. Yes, it was a musical, but when I tried out for the singing part, the folks looked at me like I did not have all the dots on my dice.

“What are you doing here?” they asked incredulously after hearing my singing audition. I advised them that my priest had suggested that I try out. I admitted that I do not sing very well, but I have made a good living over the years giving speeches.

So they said, “Let’s hear one.” I spouted off a halftime speech by Vince Lombardi. That earned me the role of the Governor in the play. The character actually helped Lizzie Borden beat the rap. It was a fun week, but “The Sopranos” did not call me for a role as a mobster. I realized there is a lot more to acting and singing than I had previously thought.

Still, I have an interest in singing, though I am not very good. A friend recently invited me to join the Osceola Center for the Arts Singers in Kissimmee, Florida. They have a terrific Christmas concert coming up in December where scores of singers will join a cast of musicians for a powerful performance in Kissimmee, Florida. I get to hide out on the back row with some great male voices and enjoy the delightful music of the Christmas season.

Find some quiet and tranquility in a passion that you have. When times are tough, it is so easy to get down. You are in charge of your happiness. You can only be responsible for one half of a relationship- your half. Find some harmony in the serenity of something you love, and then pursue it. It will cleanse your soul.

Will it change the economy or make the health issues go away? No, but it will bestow upon you, if but for a moment, some quiet in your life that will allow you to catch your breath. Sometimes that is all it takes.

So here I am at a business meeting in sunny south Florida at the Marco Island Marriott freezing my buns off.

It is actually colder on this January day on the southwest tip of Florida than it was in Anchorage, Alaska. Go figure. Al Gore might have actually been a tad off on that whole global warming thing.

I moved to Florida in 1989 because I got tired of coming here. It seemed that 80% of my speaking engagements were taking place in central and southern Florida so I simply decided to move here. My goal in life is to sleep with my wife at night and that seemed to be a great first step, i.e. live where you work.

That first year I moved here it was the last time it was this cold. There was freezing rain and snow on the ground that Christmas, leading me to question whether it was the “weather” that helped me to decide to move. Not!

We are fond of saying, if you do not like the weather here in Florida, stick around a few minutes; it is bound to change. But 40 to 50 degree water in the Gulf of Mexico? Give me a break.

Here I am walking on the beach when some fool from Minnesota comes rushing by me on his way to hop into the Gulf of Mexico, said to be a balmy 40 degrees today. It has been said that New Yorkers turn on the heat and Minnesotans plant a garden. Californians shiver uncontrollably; Minnesotans sunbathe.

At 32 degrees, distilled water freezes. At 30 degrees you can see your breath. At 29 degrees you plan your Florida vacation while politicians pretend to care about the homeless. Minnesotans eat ice cream.

At 25 degrees, water freezes in Boston and Californians openly weep. At 20 degrees, folks that live in the all-time oxymoron city, “Greater Cleveland,” set the lake on fire. San Franciscans think favorably about Los Angeles. Green Bay Packer fans put on a T-shirt.

When it hits 15 degrees in Chicago, the folks who planned that Florida vacation just keep on flying and end up in Cancun because the peninsula is so cold that it might break off and float away from the upper 47.

At 10 degrees back in the Twin Cities, you break out the jumper cables to get the car going. Over in New York, landlords finally turn the heat on when the temperature hits zero, but monitor it closely until it gets to minus five degrees.

Meanwhile, back in Green Bay, Packer fans, fresh off getting beat in the highest scoring game in playoff history, decide to stay shirtless and go sunbathing after ice skating. Now they can actually hear their breath. Matter of fact, you can cut it and use it as an igloo.

By the time it is minus 15 degrees, Minnesotans kick off the flagpole licking contests. Now you need a jumper cable to start the driver and foreign cars just do not start at all.

At minus 25 degrees, it is actually too cold to kiss, but the Minnesota Twins still head for spring training as the locals decide to shovel snow off the roof before it caves in.

At minus 38 degrees, Mercury freezes, it is too cold to think and Minnesotans button a top button. At minus 40, they put on a sweater and at minus 50 they close the bathroom window.

At minus 60, the Green Bay Packers move their practices indoors and fans put gloves away and put on mittens. Minnesotans replace their diving boards with hockey nets and consider migrating to Wisconsin, pulling down their earflaps before leaving town.

At minus 173 degrees, ethyl alcohol freezes and at minus 452 and helium becomes a liquid. At minus 450 Minnesotans reach their absolute zero tolerance as drivers drop below 90 miles per hour on I-90 and local incumbent politicians renounce a campaign contribution.

And I have the nerve to complain about cold water in the Gulf of Mexico in Marco Island, Florida, eh?