Behind the Mike

The story of Mothers Day is a long one. It is neither a recent phenomenon as many people believe it to be nor is it the creation of card and gift marketers syndicate as assumed by cynics of Mothers Day.

To the surprise of many people, Mothers Day celebrations are first said to have taken place in the time of ancient Greeks and Romans hundreds of years ago. Even Mothers Day celebrations in UK began much before the tradition saw the light of the day in US.

In US the efforts of Ms. Julia Ward Howe and Ms. Anna Jarvis are greatly recognized for starting the tradition of Mothers Day but several other women too made remarkable contribution to further the cause of Mothers Day holiday.

Today Mothers Day is celebrated in more than 46 countries around the world though at different times in the month of May. In some countries it is celebrated in entirely different times of the year. Presently, Mothers Day has come to be internationally recognized as the day to honor all mothers and thank them for the services they impart for the benefit of their individual child and consequently to the development of mankind.

How do you recognize and honor your mother, living or deceased?

It’s been said that God could not be everywhere and therefore he made mothers. The pay for a mother comes in the love from her children, be they biologically hers or be they chosen by her. Mothers are forced to think of everything twice, once for herself and once for her child. Often, the hand that rocks the cradle will ultimately become a hand that will rule a world.

My own mother was a remarkable soul. She lost her first three children in childbirth before delivering 11 in a row without incident. As my father facetiously pointed out later in life, “When we figured out what was causing it we put a stop to it!”

My mother was affectionately known as “Mama-Alice” to us kids and to hundreds of surrogate children. On any given day, she would have 11 of her own to feed and usually a handful of our friends who tagged along for a free meal at the Aun house on South Lake Drive in mid-town Lexington, SC.

The six hundred people that came to pay homage to her on the day of her funeral were but a fraction of the testimonial that many had for “Mama-Alice.” Hardly a month goes by that I don’t get an e-mail or a note from someone we grew up with that says how much they missed her.

“Mama-Alice” died on August 15, 1984, my 35th birthday. Nearly three decades later, people still remark to me about the profound impact she had on their lives. Her role on this earth was to not only mother her own children but her surrogate children as well.

Always patient and forgiving, she never deserted any poor soul that showed up in the shadows of her door. She never questioned why these stragglers were there. Some of these poor, hungry souls were found on the streets by my brothers and sisters and we did what we were taught to do… we brought them home and fed them!

“Mama-Alice” had all she could pray over just cooking, ironing, cleaning and caring for her own. While she was poor herself, the inheritance she left my brothers and sisters and our surrogate siblings is priceless. She was always a beacon of light, there to brighten our future and to protect us from our blemished past through her forgiveness and understanding.

She never saw the trials and tribulations of motherhood as a heavy burden. She made sure that adversity would be replaced by prosperity, and that our troubles would be minimized.

It’s been said that we men seek to marry a woman like our mothers. I often say to my wife Christine “I wish I had a mother like you!” Indeed, she is the same kind of loving mother to my children and grandchildren that “Mama-Alice” was to hers.

Take a moment to honor the mothers in your life, be they your own or the mother of your children. Tell them what they mean to you!

You can count on one hand things I’ve done 100% right in my life and have fingers left over to scratch your ears. The best thing I ever did was to marry up.

It was Christmas eve in 1972 when I turned to my girlfriend, Christine Thiel, during the sign of peace at Midnight Mass to not only wish her a Merry Christmas but to ask for her hand in marriage. I then proceeded to slip an engagement ring on her finger.

Later that evening after Mass, I had “the conversation” with my in-laws to be. “We’re very disappointed in both of you,” was their conclusive statement. Shortest motivational speech I’ve ever heard.

A year and one half later, we got married in the men’s room at the old Coldstream Country Club in Irmo, SC. It was supposed to take place on the 18th green, but it rained on our parade.
Such is life.

On July 6, we mark our 35th anniversary, so it has managed to stick despite the ups and downs that every relationship endures.

I made the commitment that Christmas Eve that I would see this through and my in-laws are among my closest friends today despite a start was somewhat challenging, to say the least. I guess, as the old saying goes, it stood the test of time.

Christine is the most important person in my life. We were married for five years before we decided to have children, and lo and behold, we had twin sons right off the bat. We made a conscious decision that one of us would stay home to raise Cory and Jason.

Christine is a Registered Nurse by profession but hasn’t practiced for most of our marriage because of our commitment to be there for Cory, Jason and our third son, Christopher. I submit to you that her job as a stay-at-home mom was infinitely more important and harder than any professional career that she or I would have.

When I speak to various corporations, wives will often come up to me and comment on my presentation. Some will offer, “What can I do… I’m only a mother?” My answer is simple. Madam if you don’t do your job correctly, it makes very little difference what the rest of us do.

Being a mother is clearly the most difficult job one could have, and anyone who says otherwise just ain’t being honest. It’s the most underpaid overworked responsibility on the planet. Being a mother of twins is “double trouble” as the expression goes.

My mother lost three children before producing 11 in a row. As my late father pointed out after the fact, “When we found out what was causing it, we put a stop to it!” Talk about a juggling act!

My mother-in-law, Rita Thiel, had eight kids of her own. I have nothing but admiration for these women because of their tremendous ability to multi-task.

Working mothers do triple duty. They have a full time job at work and a full time job at home. To be honest, most men have little appreciation for what these special “sheros” endure. One might argue that their third job of being a wife is even more stressful than the other two.

It seems like I’m backing the bus over my fellow males here, but actually, I’m not really sucking up because Mother’s Day is coming up; I’m actually pointing out the obvious here.

So here’s the drill. Find a way to make the mothers of the world feel special when their day rolls around in May. Any idiot can go to Hallmark and buy a card. Try writing your own on the back of a board like I did one year for my mother. I actually carved a wooden cross for my mother-in-law. Don’t do the obvious; go with something different, and I don’t mean a six-pack of suds and a can of cashews.