February is Valentine’s month and I have to ask the profound question of why we bother with celebrating the event. Beyond the obvious commercial impact of selling rings and flowers, what is the purpose of this ritual?
The popular festival of love and romances traces its origin to ancient Roman festival, despite the popular belief that it was created by card companies. There are various legends associated with the festival along with the belief that birds began to mate from this day. Popularity of the Valentine’s Day festival stems from the combined effects of all these legends, beliefs and of course the wish to glorify the unparalleled feeling of love, i.e. blah, blah, blah.
A young wife was taking an afternoon nap. After she woke up, she told her husband, “I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine’s Day. What do you think it means?” “You’ll know tonight,” he said. That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife. Delighted, she opened it–only to find a book titled “The Meaning of Dreams”.
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, “Relatives of yours?” “Yep,” the wife replied, “in-laws.”
After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, “You know, I was a fool when I married you.” And the husband replied, “Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn’t notice it.”
A couple came upon a wishing well. The wife leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny. The husband decided to make a wish, too but he leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned. The wife was stunned for a moment but then smiled, “It really works!”
When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife.
THE TEN COMMANDMENTS OF LOVE FOR MEN
- She is thy Main Squeeze; thou shall squeeze no others before her.
- Thou shall not take the name of thy honey in vain, nor badmouth them behind their back.
- Remember your honey’s anniversary, and keep it holy…or else.
- Honor her mother and father. THYNE own are too darn weird.
- Thou shall not kill her love by behaving tackily and making her embarrassed to be seen with thee.
- Thou shall not commit adultery, nor shall thou even THINK about it if thou knows what’s good for thee.
- Thou shall not steal from her wallet/purse while she is in thy bathroom, nor use her credit cards, nor make long-distance calls from her telephone.
- Thou shall not talk about your personal problems to her friends.
- Thou shall not covet the higher market price of thy neighbor’s house.
- Thou shall not covet thy neighbor’s honey, or son or daughter, or stereo, or BMW.
One of the most profound things we men could do is to understand that women make the rules. Why are we men so thick-headed? If we concluded this on the front end, it would cost us fewer headaches later on.
We should also understand that women can change the rules without notification and there is absolutely no way you can know what all the rules are, so do not bother. If the woman suspects we know a particular rule, her job is to immediately change it to keep us off balance. Know that the woman is never wrong.
In the remote chance that a woman is wrong, it is due to a misunderstanding which was a direct result of something we men say or do. It is a rule guys; live with it. We must learn to apologize immediately for causing the misunderstandings.
Another rule is women may change their minds whenever, wherever and however in any place; men are prohibited from changing their minds without the express written consent of the woman. And, women have the right to be angry or upset any time and men are not allowed to be either. It is a rule… live with it boys!
